so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i think my cat just said my name.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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