I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
