Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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