Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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