Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
