I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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