So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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