toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
