He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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