so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish you could order shots online.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
