Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
