No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
