What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
