okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
