there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
