So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He? As in you personified your dick?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
