After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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