my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
