I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
