I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
