In the future we'll all be gay
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
ttyl tear gas
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
