I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dicks are not precious.
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