why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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