The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
