i would punch a child for taco bell
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
