I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
