Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
