I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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