So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
