I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
