I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
