Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
