im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
