that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
