Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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