im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
