If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
