Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
