Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
