I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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