just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
