if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
false alarm. still invincible.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
