He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
ok first of all what the fuck
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
