I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
