oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
