Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
