Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
