6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
