Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
