i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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